the Moon

this moon, resting in the sky
doesn't know me, asks nothing of me
draws me, sings to me

the cat, mews, she thinks she knows:
she does know my patterns.
i will pet her, feed her,
moving now deliberately
and now rushing.

she avoids me when i rush.

three points of light in the window
one, through the window,the moon
two, in the window, soft yellow brown low wattage lamp
three, also in the window, the christmas tree with it's little star

a little too symmetrical, that tree
a pleasant if too perfect reflection

preparing to sing songs for the night
preparing to connect with imaginary beings:
where is the connection that is not a fantasy,
where is the laugh that words can't describe?

and we sail restlessly on a sea of tears
this body of humanity
so many missed connections, dreams shattered
moments of ecstasy, days of confusion

a glimmer of truth
a litany of lies

small lies, no big deal,
usually told first to myself
so inconsequential that i hardly notice.
my storytelling so familiar, like an oldish
uncle reading bedtime stories.

"of course you are a good man
and the sun will rise tomorrow"

and in the midst of the birth pangs of a race
giving birth to itself
the golden age fills the horizon, beckons so seductively

this, this is what we have yearned for
the carols say, "peace on earth,
good will to men!"

this, this, braving the snow on a cold winter's night
to bring fuel and food to the starving and homeless

this, this, stepping outside of ourselves and our narrow survival
and beyond even the dream of love and compassion

this, this, a world of oneness in action
children and chimpanzees rolling a ball to each other

but reaching prematurely for the Dream,
it somehow vanishes, and i am left alone with

this moon. and one other light i missed before,
the red blinking light. What does that one mean,

i wonder? A golden child is being born, the manifestation
of a Dream. But i can't bear to look at the Child,

i prefer instead my own shadows and my own pain.
and i'd rather dream of the Goddess, than dare to

look her in the eyes, for her to see me as i am in truth.
I know, i know
i'm almost there, but whenever i am close

i cry and can't be consoled. It's been a long time

a very very long time.
as old as the moon.

tomorrow the sun, and joy, and ecstasy
outrageous outpouring of love and wild dancing
 
tonight, just me and the moon
everywhere, around the globe

just me
and the moon.

and as the old man said awhile ago,
i must become

the moon.

become

every tear
on every cheek
in this whole jungle of human chimpanzees.

it's then and only then
i will be free of myself.

ah, the moon cries tonight!
ah, the moon cries...
ah, the moon
ah